Eyedrops in my eye taste BAD.

What the ever living fuck is up with that?

I put them in and a minute later – TERRIBLE taste in my mouth.  From the eye drops.

I immediately googled it. Because it was obvious to me that I have a Big Cancerous Hole in my eye that leads to my mouth… Its possible that anatomy isn’t my strong point – but the point is – HOLES. Probably Cancer.

Except No.  Turns out its normal. There’s a hole but it supposed to be there.

NO ONE TOLD ME!

What is wrong with the Internet?!  Why isn’t there some meme or a viral life hack thing or SOMETHING that would have educated me on the weirdness of eyedrops having a taste!  This should have been done.

I’m just so disappointed in the internet right now.

LIFE HACK:  Press on the inner corner of your eye against your nose to prevent the eye drop from dripping down into your throat and mouth.  I recommend this HIGHLY if you are using prednisone drops.  They taste really bad.

Where is the Republicans Outrage about their candidates?

Liberals tend to paint a picture of The Republican as a white man with quietly or not so quietly held racist views, desperately and obliviously holding on to his white privilege like it’s a childhood blankie.

But the reality is surely otherwise.  We all know at least one perfectly reasonable Republican who is not a racist.  I know quite a few and I tend to believe there are a whole lot of them.

My biggest issue with them is that they are NOT screaming in outrage at what GOP candidates are saying and doing in the name of their party.

Why isn’t Donald Trump being kicked out the GOP for being a flagrantly misogynistic racist candidate?

Why isn’t anyone even demanding that?

If they don’t want their party to devolve into hellish caricatures of candidates, they need to defend it from the cretins who would make it that way.

Saying they will vote Trump out on the primary isn’t good enough.  The tacit endorsement of the Republican Party is all over him.  He represents their party.

I’m unaware that there is an effort on the part of everyday GOP voters to stop the disintegration of their party into a place where scared white racists go to bathe their fears.

Where is the GOP outrage?

Somedays I feel like the Outsider

I am single.  I want to remain single.

But a good deal of what I see on the internet is what most of the world wants – marriage or how to find a marriageable human.

I don’t own a TV.  I don’t want one.  I do occasionally watch a show on Netflix or something.

But a good deal of what I see on the internet is about some TV show.

I am a blob.  I rarely move except to get to work and to get home from work.  This is depression.

But a good deal of what I see on the internet is about people traveling or exercising or going to bar/party/restaurant.

Most days I don’t even notice this.  But today I am acutely aware that I am not the norm.  That I don’t fit any of the standards.  I on the outside.

I’m not sure why it normally doesn’t bother me, but today it feels like I’m standing awkwardly at a party I accidentally crashed.

The Kindness of Neighbors

I was dreading shoveling my driveway.  I was wondering if I could skip it and just drive over the snow and thinking about how that would be a bad idea but really kind of hoping…

And then my neighbor started to shovel the driveway.  LIKE A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR.  No knight has been more timely.

He’s a kind man.

His girlfriend has a car that parks there often, so he will get a benefit, but its not like she has to park in the drive.  There’s a well maintained church parking lot across the street.  I’ve parked there myself on bad snow days.

Nor did he have to make sure it was clear in time for me to go to work.  That was also kindness.

He’s my hero and I feel like I need to return the kindness somehow.  I shall have to figure out how.

knight_of_war_by_ptitvinc
Artwork by ptitvinc

 

Its snowing and I found a reason to smile about it

Its quiet.

I live on a very busy corner with a traffic light and a bus stop.

Its 915am and no one is on either the street.  The silence is wonderful.

When an occasional car does drive by they are silenced by the snow on the road.

Its BEAUTIFUL.  Its like magic.

Also, its pretty.  But that is tempered by the fact that I’m going to have clean the car off in a couple of hours.  The silence let me sleep without the usual wake up calls from the traffic.

 

 

 

That Bitch, Winter, Showed Up.

Late and with an attitude.

I’m a bit peeved at the inappropriateness of Winter’s party dress this week.

It was 12 degrees at noon today when I went to work. Tonight the low is going to be 3 degrees.  THREE.

This is CINCINNATI, not Canada.  12 degrees is Canada, possibly warm sunny shores in Alaska, but it is NOT Cincinnati. We have a different agreement.

I’m just saying.  Someone needs to address it with her.  She’s getting all kinds of pushy and more than a bit trampy.

I’m sending a note to Weather HR.

How to Help Someone Who is Depressed

  1. Remind yourself and us that this is an illness not a character flaw.  We aren’t lazy.  We aren’t antisocial.  We aren’t irresponsible.  We are ill.  Remind both of us, often.
  2. Don’t wait until we hit rock bottom, thinking that is when we will finally try.  We probably are trying but for us a huge success is a tiny everyday matter for you.
  3. Socialize with us.  We won’t want you to, but do it anyway.  This will mean not accepting it when we don’t want to do anything or talk. This works much better if you don’t wait to intervene until we have completely cut ourselves off from the world.
  4. Get us to a doctor.  Take us.  Make sure we take the meds if we seem like we don’t want to.
  5. Take us for walks.  Short walks at first, but walk outside. Exercise is a huge help for us but we can’t change patterns easily and so starting a walk is hard.
  6. Help us with practical things – doing our laundry or cleaning.  If possible we should help but don’t overwhelm us with a huge plan to fix all the things wrong in the household.  Do something reasonable and directly obvious.
  7. Doing productive things helps.  So if we had a hobby like knitting or drawing or whatever, come over and do it with us for a while.
  8. Put us in new situations.  Not overwhelming ones – just things that make our  brain move outside the existing pathways that have us tied into a rut of nothingness.  A concert in the park, a new restaurant, the zoo, anything that is not the usual.
  9. Encourage us to talk or write about our issues and frustrations.
  10. Don’t assume we aren’t trying because we didn’t do something.
  11. Don’t hide what you are doing, pretending you are not trying to help.  Explain why you are doing it and why it’s a good idea for us.       Depressed people aren’t stupid and we want to get better.  Manipulation is condescending.
  12. Don’t wait for us to ask.  We probably won’t.

Good Advice

Do you want to avoid pregnancy? Tie some goat innards or weasel testicles around your neck.

This is advice from the past.  Actual published advice according to Elizabeth P Archibald.  

Now, I know what you are thinking. “How ridiculous.  How ignorant.”  But you obviously have not thought it through.

How often do you suppose a woman with the fresh intestines of a goat wrapped around her neck gets laid?   (let alone a smelly weasel testicle) How often?

Exactly.  And abstinence, as the GOP is fond of reminding us, is a solution for avoiding pregnancy.

I wonder if the GOP has considered endorsing this insightful old method for birth control.  The tie-in is glorious.  Of course, would they be willing to have Obamacare pay for the wholesale slaughter of goats and the de-balling of weasels?  You know the de-balling of weasels cannot be cheap.

Good Advice – Sometimes its hard to implement.  But – Weasels & Goats are way cute.  They would make great advertising mascots.  mustela_nivalis_-british_wildlife_centre-4 goat-785289_960_720