Canadian Geese.   

goose201I am not a fan.

I used to think they were nice until I worked someplace that had three ponds, two in front of the entrance to the building, requiring me to navigate a narrow path that held a multitude of geese.   And that’s when I realized that Canadian Geese are really just militant bat shit crazy birds.

Trust me on this.   They are evil and they plotting to take over the suburbs.  It’s just a matter of time before they are elected to government positions.

DON’T be fooled by adorable pictures.  These are asshole birds.  AND they have no self regulation on their sanitary habits.  In other words, geese poop all over the damn place.

I have advice for those of you young novices on how to deal with goose patrols.  NEVER show any weakness.  NEVER.  Look them in the eye and keep walking toward your objective, even if they are in the way.  They expect you to walk around.  But that is weakness.  Do not do it.  They will move.

If you show weakness they will attack for arbitrary reasons that no doubt seem valid in their brains.  But since their brains are the size of peanut, we can assume there is no valid reason.  So don’t show weakness.

If one attacks or shows aggression, it will mark you to all the others.  So never show weakness.

I’ll be honest.  It is only the strictest sense of animal loving integrity that stops me from buying a shot gun and slaughtering them wholesale.  They are dicks.

Life seems sweet in other worlds,

Ripe with fungal dew in this one.

Bravery is facing the fungus and making it home,

Ignoring the sweet thyme scent of other worlds.

Life is more real here or there,

But not in the fight between the scent and the dew.

Easter and Grandma Allen

I loved Easter when I was little because my Grandma Allen always came to visit us in Puerto Rico over Easter.  She loved the sunrise service they did on El Morro (the old fort in San Juan).  I loved going to that service as well, because it was beautiful and sort of mystical.  But mostly Easter was wonderful because it was the season of Grandma Allen.

Grandma Allen visited for a month at a time.  She liked to make the cost of the trip worthwhile, I guess.  She was known to stretch a nickel until it screamed.  Even if the nickel was my father’s, which in this case, it was.

My parents often took their “no children” vacations when grandma came to visit.  At least, they did until my grandmother got the notion to upholster the couch while they were on vacation. She chose the cheapest, most durable fabric she could procure.  Sadly the fabric was hideous, which was not a factor my grandmother considered.  She raised a family in the depression.  Beauty was not a consideration when you had to clothe and feed 3 children and a husband.

It turned out that my mother, despite growing up in the depression, did not feel the same way about beauty.  As a result, the surprise was not so much a happy one for my mother.  Her bitterness lasted for decades.

After that a woman named Mrs. McGillicuddy came to stay when Mom and Dad took vacations.

Grandma always brought energy to the house.  She always played games, she was always up to see a new place (as long as it wasn’t on a boat) and she never ever yelled.

We had a sailboat.  However, my grandmother tended to get seasick just standing on the pier.  So she couldn’t go on the sailboat.  So my father, who paid for my grandmother to come visit us, couldn’t go sailing for the entire time she was there.  I was an adult before I recognized how much of a trial that must have been for him.  But he, like everyone, adored my grandmother.

Well.  My mom did have some mother /daughter issues.

Anyway, Easter makes me think of Grandma.

Get some Perspective

Stop being afraid of being bombed by a terrorist.

Unless you live in Syria or similar locality, your odds of dying or being injured while driving to work are far far far greater.

You aren’t afraid to drive to work.  And no one is spending billions of dollars to save you from death by driving to work.

In fact, you may not realize it, but if you live in North America or Europe you really don’t experience much in the way of terrorism from ISIS.  You don’t realize it because our media don’t report too much on the horrible terrorists attacks in the Middle East and Africa.

Can’t find the original to attribute this.  A correction – It should be San Bernardino, not San Diego. Also Baghdad, Not Bagdad

As you might naturally conclude, ISIS is almost universally hated in the Muslim World.



So, lets assume that you are a Syrian Refugee.  Your sister was killed 4 feet from you and you have fled with your family.  But now you are separated from your family who are all in different refugee camps.  No country wants you because they have ignorantly branded all Muslims as terrorists.  So now people think you are the very thing you hate so much.  Imagine how unfair and horrifying that would feel as you remember holding your dead sister in your arms screaming in terror and anger at ISIS.

Muslims are not our enemies.  They are not evil.  They are humans.  Just like you and me and they are being persecuted by both ISIS and Western Nations.  ISIS, I won’t try to explain.

But us.  We are treating them like garbage out of ignorance and fear.  Its horribly unfair and stupid.  Stop adding disdain to their horror.

Stop the Panic.  Get some Perspective.

Stop feeding the terrorism with irrational fear. Start treating your fellow humans with compassion and kindness.

In which Lily is sure I bought a shoe box, not shoes.

I bought shoes.  For those of you who don’t remember the minutiae of my life updates, there was much debate on whether or not to buy shoes as the money that had been allocated to them was spent on trivialities. (AKA a rather painful UTI.)

Lily, the cat, has assumed that this was the purchase of an expensive box for her.  Shoe boxes are of course the second greatest thing since catnip.  And this shoe box is from Dankso, who created a non traditional shoe box to justify their expensive shoes.

Lily is fairly sure that this is like moving into the penthouse in Manhattan.  Possibly overlooking Central Park.

Caturday pictures of Lily’s new diggs will be forthcoming.  Stay Tuned!


Owww! My Eye!

In an almost miraculously stupid turn events, my shirt tried to poke out my eye by colluding with the file cart.

My shirt has tie strings with wooden beads at the end.  While in my chair, I  leaned over the file cart and then sat back in my chair.  The beads got caught on the cart, pulled tight, then broke free and WHAM:

Wooden Beads slammed into my open eye.

It hurt.  A LOT.

And it was such an odd idiotic thing to happen.

I hope it didn’t damage it.  The eye, not the beads.  I hope the beads burn in the open pit of Hades.

I suppose I will have a black eye, but I don’t want the actual eyeball to be hurt.  Because it was the only good one I had left.  The other one has the damn Iritis.  If I must be blind I prefer it is only in one eye.  No doubt that is selfish of me.

And to add insult to injury I am now complaining about my minor hurts and injuries, like that is fascinating for everyone.

Sigh.  It is the next step from single cat lady.  Eventually we become Spinsters.

Its Morning.

I’m not appreciating any of its glory.  I’m actually resenting its existence.

There is something wrong with the human brain that it doesn’t enjoy waking up.  That should be a signal toward wonderfulness, right?  Instead, we wake up full of resentment and an overwhelming desire to go back to sleep.

I think the reason we have a hard time resisting donuts and forcing ourselves to exercise and wash the dishes is because we used up ALL of our willpower just to wake up.

You only have so much willpower.  Its a like a gas tank.  I think we use 7/8ths of the tank just getting out of bed in the morning.

We need to just ban mornings and all would be right with the world.



Did you know?

That Trump, Cruz, Clinton and Sanders all favor gun regulation?  To differing degrees to be sure, but all of them are OK with regulation and have some form of proposal for it.  Trump favors extending the waiting period and eliminating Assault Rifles, while Sanders wants there to be instant background checks and no semi-automatic weapons.  But some kind of regulation – everyone agrees.

Did you know…

That Trump, Cruz, Clinton and Sanders all favor Israel.  With Sanders being almost critical and the rest be unreservedly in support of Israel.

Did you know…

That Trump, Clinton and Sanders all favor increasing taxes on the very wealthy?  Cruz has a flat tax proposal that he thinks is going to save the country.  But the rest of them Clinton & Sanders  think we need to make those 1% stand up for more of their share.  [Keith has pointed out that Trump actually wants to reduce the tax rate on the wealthy – my information was from 17 years ago.  Apparently, he no longer thinks the wealthy need to pay more]

Did you know…

That Trump, Cruz, Clinton and Sanders all favor creating jobs.  I know – that surprises no one.

Did you know…

That Cruz and Clinton  favor the USA Freedom act?  Sanders is against and I couldn’t find Trumps position, except that he is pro surveillance, so… probably fine with it.

Did you know…

That Trump, Cruz, Clinton and Sanders all favor preserving social security and Medicare.  That all of them want to reform the Veterans Administration?  Again – that surprises no one, but its important to recognize the similarities.


There are obviously many stark differences along party lines, but the differences between Trump & Cruz and Sanders & Clinton are fairly nuanced.

Between Trump & Cruz the largest difference is on taxes – Cruz is very keen on a flat tax and removing the IRS.  Trump wants to cut spending except on military and increase decrease tax on billionaires.

Between Sanders & Clinton the biggest difference is in Security/Privacy & Healthcare.  Sanders thinks we shouldn’t sacrifice our rights and privacy to fight terrorism, Clinton is OK with doing that.  Sanders wants a true Universal Healthcare Plan, Clinton wants to improve the current ACA.

I think it’s important to note that the differences between the party candidates get inflated on social media and by the candidates themselves in an effort to claim distinctiveness.