Bells in Cat Toys are music in Hell

Like an idiot I bought a set of balls at the Dollar Tree with a bell inside them.  They are hard plastic, so they make noise on hardwood floors, all on their own.  But when you add the jingle bell inside, it’s annoying beyond comprehension.

I have taken them away and hidden them several times, but Tim is very good at hide and seek.  I think I’m going to have to just throw them away.

I’m so cheap that it bothers me to throw away a $1 cat toy.  Actually 50 cents.  There were two balls in each package.

I need to just to it.  I can’t get the bell out without ruining the toy.  I had hoped at one point to do that.  But it’s not possible without a great deal more effort than a 50 cent toy is worth.

WHY do cat toys have bells?  It’s a terrible noise.  Terrible.


The Guilt of a Favorite

Whenever I have more than one cat, I always end up with a favorite.  It’s nearly always the one I’ve had longest.  In fact, I think it’s ALWAYS is?  I can’t think of an exception.

Anyway, despite only being with me a few months, Bijou, Her Calico Highness, is my favorite.  And I feel really bad about it.

Because on all metrics except possibly pure beauty, Rebel Tim is probably more lovable.  He’s never the one who growls or spits.  Although to be fair, Bijou was universally cheerful and sweet until the arrival the Rebel Tim, so.

But I got Tim for Bijou.  I feel like he belongs to her.  I just take care of him for her, because she’s royalty and cannot be expected to manage his needs. What’s more, I’m pretty sure Her Calico Highness knows that Tim is hers.  He is naturally oblivious.  He just loves her.  And me.  Probably equally because he’s that sweet.

Anyway, it’s not like I don’t love Tim.  But I have a preference for Her Calico Highness.

I am glad I never had kids.  I imagine I would have had a favorite and that would be awful.

So anyway.  This has been the confession of Sara, guilty cat lover.

Being Fated to Cats…

One of the drivers where I work watched someone dump a kitten at the side of the road, so she stopped and saved it.

It was a tiny tiny tuxedo baby boy.

Very upright and busy.

I have an irrational belief that cats find me. That every cat in my life is fated to be part of it.

I’ve been mulling a second cat.  I’ve had 2 cats my entire life until the last 5 years or so.  Lily, my last cat, did not enjoy other cats and for awhile I was barely fit to take care of her so we were fine, just the 2 of us.

She died last summer and after a bit another cat arrived to fill the utter void that claimed my life when she left.  Bijou.

I was quite sure I was still too hurt about Lily and couldn’t take on another cat, and then someone posted on Tumblr that a local cat needed a home.  That seemed like Bijou was supposed to be mine.

I think Bijou is a bit lonely.  And I feel quite guilty about this.  But 2 cats is, in fact, twice as many cats.  So I have been mulling and not doing much about it.

So anyway, while I was dithering, the driver walks in with this kitten.  A kismet kitten.  So I offered to take it.  But another driver was more excited and had recently lost his cat and had no cat, so in the end I didn’t bring home a tiny tuxedo kitten for Bijou.

I don’t believe in fate.  But nearly every cat I have taken into my life has been a sort of kismet of that nature.

Even when I picked up a cat at a shelter 25 years ago, I was convinced that I was going get a gorgeous calico kitten, but this bossy brown tabby literally climbed up my arm when I reached in to get the calico.  And he just kept climbing in my lap and pushing over the shy calico, who had no real interest in me. So I took him home.  Chester picked me.  I just showed up and followed his instructions on the matter.

I suppose another cat will show up soon enough. I think a kitten will be the safest thing to blend into our home, but damn they are busy.   It’s hard to guarantee to good meld if you introduce 2 adult cats to each other.  In a big space it’s not as crucial, but we are going to be in a one bedroom apartment.  It will be cozy.  We must get along.

But kittens.  They are so adorable for like 20 minutes and then you realize – they require a lot of monitoring.  Kitten proofing is necessary.  That kitten walked around our office for 10 minutes, and tried to bite cords, nearly fell off a desk, and for about a minute we couldn’t find him at all until he emerged from behind a desk covered in dust bunnies.  Tail high, jauntily walking around oblivious to any and all possible consequences.  He really was adorable.

Possibly Bijou would take on the mentoring role and keep a kitten in check.   Well, we will see what fate brings.  Not that I believe in fate.  I don’t. tuxedo kitten

Except with cats.


The Cat Factor of Difficulty

Until you have a cat, you don’t understand the added level of difficulty and effort that they add to all your everyday tasks.

Right now, I’m lounging in bed with my laptop, but Lily is leaning on the laptop with her head blocking part of the screen.lily computer  In order to see, I keep inching the laptop over on my lap until it’s sort of floating in midair and barely being supported by part of one leg. I don’t even know I’m doing it until the balance becomes untenable and then we have to reset with me moving both Lily and the laptop.

That is one example in a continuing daily struggle with a cat making your life more… Interesting.

They don’t let you do anything the simplest way.  mti4otkzmdq1mjm5njm4nju5
tumblr_nlts2roqfv1u6jismo2_1280You will always have to step over or around.  You will always have to factor in their ability to deliberately knock something over or rip it up.  You will always have to adjust yourself to their intentions.  19f1b8a123b8f1ded1bd0116abb7167c






And what is utterly amazing, is that we do this so unconsciously most of the time.  We don’t give it a second thought.  866534453510dd26868352923f9ed337

In which Lily is sure I bought a shoe box, not shoes.

I bought shoes.  For those of you who don’t remember the minutiae of my life updates, there was much debate on whether or not to buy shoes as the money that had been allocated to them was spent on trivialities. (AKA a rather painful UTI.)

Lily, the cat, has assumed that this was the purchase of an expensive box for her.  Shoe boxes are of course the second greatest thing since catnip.  And this shoe box is from Dankso, who created a non traditional shoe box to justify their expensive shoes.

Lily is fairly sure that this is like moving into the penthouse in Manhattan.  Possibly overlooking Central Park.

Caturday pictures of Lily’s new diggs will be forthcoming.  Stay Tuned!


Review of A Cat

3 out of 5 stars

Seller did not mention that parts continually fall off the model. Small, barely detectable parts then accumulate on all surfaces in detectable amounts. Its apparently supposed to do that, but its seriously inconvenient.

There was an attempt on the part of the manufacturer to create a system, within the model I obtained, to collect the parts before they fall off and then eject them in one place. But this is VERY disgusting and the ejection often takes place in a place inconvenient to myself.

Overall, I cannot recommend the model to anyone who has an issue with deep cleanliness.
There are redeeming “cute” and “cuddly” features, which keeps me from just throwing out the model in favor of a new vacuum cleaner. It’s probably a personal preference.

If you choose to keep the model, I would recommend training yourself to accept and ignore the constant interference that will be inflicted on you.  Since you chose to keep it, you probably love it, so throwing it across the room is not an option, however justified it may seem objectively.  Instead you must learn to adjust your daily functions to accommodate for whatever it wants to do. Because, its going to do it regardless.

Lily and I wrestle and Lily wins.

I’ve been trying to give Lily some Pepcid AC to help her with her nausea.  Lily does NOT wish to take the tiniest sliver of a pill.   Yesterday I won and she ate a quite decent amount.  I was very chuffed.

Today, Lily won.  She’s not a rude winner though.  She’s quite sportsmanlike.  She came over after I gave up and cuddled up next to me.  Although, to be honest, she does have a bit of a smug look to her.

I’m going to have buy a syringe to feed it to her.  I HATE the syringe.  I once had to force feed a cat for a week.  It is not a happy memory and although it saved the cat’s life, she did not appear the slightest bit grateful for the procedure.  I think we were both scarred by it.

I hate any of these sorts of things, where I am doing something the animal very much does not want to happen and is afraid of.  They do not understand why.  And that is what bothers me.  They can only experience it as terror without any reason.  They think I am suddenly being cruel.  I hate it.  It feels like I am torturing them because they don’t know its for their own good.

So.  anyway.  I need to go out and buy a syringe.  lily

I have a cat for sale, swap, or frankly you can just have her no questions asked.

LILY BEING LILYType:  Brown Tabby, generally considered cute.  Often considered a Pest.

Gender: Female but without necessary connections for reproduction.

Name:  Lily

Description:  Well, right now I’m typing this with her chin on one of my hands. So.  I guess you could call her “involved”.   I call it annoying.

She enjoys computers.  She will be the means by which you learn a great many things about how to unfuck computers, short cut keys and that sort of thing.  She’s basically a computer tutor.  She fucks it up, you fix it.

She doesn’t eat much.  (due to chronic feline renal failure).  However, she makes up for that by throwing up on a semi regular basis.  Think of her as a home decorator.

This model of feline releases small barely detectable parts of herself… everywhere.  They accumulate into very detectable piles.  They will adhere to all of your clothing, furniture, carpet, walls, food.  When you clean them up, she will watch and be mildly offended at your disposal of her discarded parts.  She is everywhere even when she isn’t.

Your requirements:  She likes to sleep with you.  But is very particular about the set up.  There will be a great deal of back and forth under the covers while you hold the covers up.  YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO HOLD UP THE COVERS during the settling in process.  Your time and annoyance investment in her position will make it less likely that you will ever move because moving will require a new resettlement procedure, so DON’T MOVE.

You will be required to run back and forth through the home as though you are another cat playing chase.  This is required only 2-3x a week as this feline is older and not feeling well often.  Think of her as your fitness coach.

You will worry.  Incessantly.  About the how little she eats, how terrible she feels and how much you wish you could make it better for her.  This isn’t a requirement so much as an involuntary response to her love and condition.

Benefits:  She loves you.  Always and completely.

Maybe I’ll keep her.

Continue reading “I have a cat for sale, swap, or frankly you can just have her no questions asked.”