Category: Uncategorized

Wally, the Wasp – my most recent crazy

It’s been a minutes since I wrote anything on here. Although I’ve been intending to tell you about Wally for months.

Back in March, I woke up to a wasp in my bathroom. I studied that wasp for a moment and decided that if I left the bathroom the wasp problem would solve itself. Eventually though I had to get ready for work. And that requires a shower. The wasp was sitting in the shower window.

Now in general I don’t try to murder insects. I usually implement a catch and release plan. But both catch and release and murder seemed fraught. Because it’s me and if anything is possible to go wrong, it’s going to if I’m involved.

But needs must – I had to take a shower. So I decided to risk the third rail alternative and take a shower with the wasp. And he remained calm through out the shower and indeed seemed to enjoy the water spray.

So I began to worry about him. He was trapped and it was still too cold to let him out. So I made some simple syrup, put it in a plastic lid and put the syrup on the window sill for him.

That was when I realized I’d crossed out of crazy cat lady territory and into just crazy territory. I’d adopted a wasp. Naturally I named him. Wally Wasp.

My friends and family became very supportive of my new interest in caring for a wasp. My friend Chad discovered that there are, in fact, persons who adopt wasps as pets. They set up terrariums for them. I did not do that. Wally was free. Or freeish.

We determined that it was probably a paper wasp. I assigned his gender as male purely because I think of wasps as male and bees as female for some undetermined reason.

We got along quite well when he wasn’t trying to kill himself. And he did make some terribly unwise choices. A couple of days into his shower window occupation he flew out toward the shower curtain, got his by the shower water and nearly drowned. I saw it happen so I was able to stop the shower but the tub had an inch or so of water in it. I grabbed an empty toilet paper holder and held it down for him and he immediately clambered into it. I was very relieved.

But then he kamakazied on a different morning. I didn’t see it happen and so he was too week to hold onto the toilet paper roll, although he initially tried. I finally scooped him up, but he was limp and not responding. I was sure he was dead. I nearly cried. I left him laying on his side on the window sill expecting he would be where I left him when I got home. But nope. Mr. Wally pants was up and doing a jig. Died and resurrected. It was magic.

He hung out in the bathroom for about 6 weeks. A couple of weeks ago, I decided it was probably warm enough and I really wanted him to have at least some happiness. Because I really don’t think he was happy living in on porcelain tiles. Poor little one. So I let him step into the toilet paper holder one more time and we went out on the balcony. I had put a thing of syrup out in one of the flower pots and I put the roll in the pot. He walked out and onto the dirt and seemed like he was just going to stay. But he flew away and did not come back.

Spring was in full force so I’m sure he had a blast. Or at least I hope so.

Reading old friends

There are a couple of authors whose books I have read so many times I know some passages by heart.  Georgette Heyer is one of them.  Pulling out one of these books is like sitting down with an old friend.  They are comforting and good company.

I know what is going to happen, but it doesn’t matter, I’m never bored.  I’m just happy to feel the familiar company.  To visit places I love.  To hear the words in my head, that I’ve read so many times, is a delight.

I’ve spent the last couple of weekends reading these books again.  It’s like being cuddled in a down comforter.  Warm and snuggly.

 

Trying new systems.

I’m always trying to make my life work better.   Which is often an internal struggle against the stillness that my depression prefers.

So now I’m trying To Do apps on my phone.  The one I’m currently using is called Todoist.

I like to do lists.  I find writing out a list of things I have to do makes them less daunting.

When things I must do are just swimming in and out of my mind, they tend to get into log jams and I become stressed about how MUCH THERE IS TO DO!  😣

Usually when I sit down and make the list, it’s not as much as I felt it was.  And it all suddenly becomes manageable.  And I don’t have that feeling of did I forget to do something?

I like checklists for that reason to.  I am very good at forgetting to do a thing even though it’s a thing I do all the time.  At work, I need to have checklists or I will often forget a step.

But back to my new app.  I’ve decided I want the app to have an alarm.  Because I don’t pay enough attention to my phone to notice when I have notifications.  I can literally go for days without looking at it.  People get cranky with me.  But if there was a noise to tell me to get me off my butt and do the thing it might help.

In this case I just put in my daily chore around the house.  I don’t usually just CLEAN the house.  I do one bigger chore a day.  It never looks pristine, but it’s usually quite pleasant.

Or it used to be before Rebel Tim showed up.  He’s a walking chaos machine.  I can put away his toys, but by that evening all 10 balls he owns are out of the basket and strewn about the apartment like he held some kind of ball related rave while I was at work.   Plus, he is slowly destroying the box spring.  It has a thin layer of stuffing lining it.  He pulls out the stuffing.  So I have stuffing all over the damn apartment.  I no longer give him stuffed toys for that reason.

Again, I wandered off topic.  Sorry.  Anyway, if the app had an alarm at say 9:30 am, I think it would work better for me.   I like almost everything else about ToDoist.  I’m considering seriously committing and buying the premium.  If you want an app to last you have to support the people who make it.   I can always set up alarms separately in my phone, I guess. The system is starting to feel complicated at that point.   Honestly, the phone app is more cumbersome than just a paper and pen.  But then you have to figure out where to put the paper to remind you…

grrrr.

The US & State Governments are Failing Us

HOW did the most developed country roll backwards and is now headed toward a undeveloped country?

I keep seeing stories and realizing that no one seems to be noticing that the US is rolling backwards.

Can I define this for you?

Our infrastructure – roads, airports, communications lines – now 11th in the world and falling.

Our education system – we’re NOT in the top 10.  We are thirteenth and falling.  Russia beats us.  Michigan is now arguing that it has no responsibility to teach children to be literate.  So I think we can safely say that we are falling in those ranks too.

Our water – we are NOT in the top 10 of clean water.  We have become increasingly aware that we can’t trust the water coming out of our taps.  Because the EPA has suggestions for water testing – but no regulations and no enforcement.  So – your municipality is at the mercy of both greed, indifference and incompetence.  So you have NO idea if the water you drink is clean.

Let me be clear – these are the FUNDAMENTAL REASONS FOR GOVERNMENT.

And our government sucks at it.  And we are letting them suck at it.

Trump intends to drop the secretary of education, which wasn’t a particularly powerful office but at least kept the focus up.

Trump intends to further defang the EPA which is already not doing what I consider a fundamental requirement – enforcing clean water regulation.

Trump does talk about spending money on infrastructure.  Whether he can convince the GOP that this is a worthy plan…  And his plans often ring of making the trains run on time… But it nevertheless is a position that he holds.

This country will go no where but down without these things.  These items are foundation of the country.  But we treat them like political footballs.  It’s going to be our downfall.

An Ode to My Pest

Lily,

Feline of Persistence,

Apprenticed under the Late Great Chester the Pester,

Born of the wild and terrible animals,

Found now in the warmth of a crooked arm,

Assured of her right to all things

of consequence and not.

In particular, not.

She, of the great trivial battles,

who has won on many a day,

the surrender of her human

and laid in triumph on the spoils of the war,

The Great and Clicky keyboard.

As ever it was supposed to be.

And ever it shall be.

Lily.

2011-06-08_12-41-29_262

Neutrality is not enlightenment. It is a position only accessible to those for whom the stakes are very low, who want to feel superior to those who have no choice but to care.
~araxoolie

This is so very true.  There is a tendency among people who have very little to lose to say “Shush, You are being rude.  Just Shush. Be accepting and polite.”. But there are times when being polite is UTTERLY POINTLESS.

When people’s lives have been stripped mined they don’t have any need to be polite.  It will not save them.  Their best solution is to be LOUD AND ANGRY.  To be effectively calling out what is wrong.

Do not Shush the disenfranchised because it feels awkward and rude to you.  Ask yourself, why are they screaming?  Why are they making a fuss and being so rude and angry?  Why aren’t you angry?

Do you see the problem, but are just giving precedence over your current comfort and the need to fit into the social dynamic that is Polite Society?  Because that is a certainly a strategy that works well in at dinner party for the boss, but it’s not one that will change the course of history.  Think about it hard – Are you unconsciously prioritizing the need to smooth out the immediate discomfort of shoutiness over the absolute problem that caused it?

Or is their problem not a problem for you and so you just don’t want to know that anyone else is suffering?  Well, guess what.  They have no need to make you more comfortable in your easy life.  Their life isn’t going so well.  Too bad if you have to see it, hear it and face it.

Rationalization

The human is always able to find a way to rationalize its actions.  Most often without any awareness that we are doing it.

We can usually find  a way to make ourselves comfortable with our choices and actions.  We don’t like unpleasant feelings about ourselves, so we find good reasons that we are doing something necessary or good when we say or do things that contradict our beliefs.

We enjoy pointing out when other people are being hypocritical in some way or another, but the reality is that every person on the planet is doing something, or has done something in the last day or less that is contradictory to something they have previously stated or believed.  We ALL do it.

  • We criticize Betty for being judgemental, all the while being judgemental about Betty.
  • We claim to be kind but are willing to insult George because we don’t like him.
  • We give money to the poor, but only if they aren’t on the street begging because those people are scammers.

We do lots of things that aren’t who we say we are. We believe things but don’t act that way in reality.  But it’s OK.  Because there is always a way to justify it.

Our monkey brains make one reason remove the contradiction.  If I have a reason, it’s OK that I’m doing this thing I claim is not the sort of thing I do.  It’s OK to be mean to George because I don’t think George is nice.  I don’t like him.  That means that I get to still think of myself as Kind, even if I’m mean to George.

That is the magic of rationalization.

But the weird thing is that this magic only works inside of ourselves.  Other people don’t see the magic happen.  So if I’m mean to George, people will think I’m mean and if I claim to a kind person, they will call it hypocrisy when they remember the George incident.  That magic reasoning that I only worked on me, not on them.

Sadly we think it works on them.  We think everyone can see it all as clearly as we can.  George deserved it, so I’m still a kind person.  And I’m very hurt when people start accusing me of being cruel to George.  Because I used the magic rationalization it has never occurred to me that those things I said to George were not consistent with calling myself kind.

It takes a bit of introspection to really look at how we are tricking ourselves into thinking we are something that we really may not be.  It’s a very uncomfortable thing to do, to search inside yourself and scratch aside our the illusions of yourself.  But if we want to have a certain self integrity I think it’s a worthwhile endeavour.

It can also be a bit obsessive and become non-productive.  I have discovered that there are rabbit holes of rationalization.  I can rationalize the rationalizing.

It helps if you already have decided who you want to be.  And then you look.  Because if  you don’t know who you want to be, then there is no point in looking at all, is there?

Kids are Wild Animals

Listen, let’s just take a minute and remember.  KIDS are not precious bundles of joy and love.  They are wild beasts and their childhood is basically just a really long taming period.

They will, just by nature, do lots of stupid, destructive and embarrassing things.

They aren’t tame yet.

And just like any animal, they are REALLY good at jumping in a gorilla pit or knocking over a 10,000 piece Lego Sculpture or asking your fat boss if their baby looks like an Alien.

That is just regular NORMAL behavior.  Yeah, it’s our job as adults to try and get them to act just a bit more rationally and with slightly more awareness of the consequences of their actions, but it’s a process.

And unless you intend to superglue yourself to a child until they are release into adulthood, they will do stupid stuff.  In fact they need to do stupid stuff.  Mistakes are how kids learn.  Mostly the mistakes are confined to small disasters that are relatively tiresome but easy to clean up or fix.

But there are the outliers.  There are always going to be kids who destroy part of themselves or someone else or something else while they are busy being the wild beasts that they are.  Humans have always known this, but for some reason we have been getting a sort of collective amnesia recently.  We seem to have forgotten that children are really just potential disaster areas.

This obsession the 1st world has with over-parenting, keeping children safe from every possible harm, with making their lives into one long moment to moment entertainment complex, has made us forget – kids aren’t really designed like that.  They are like wild animals put in a zoo.  They are still wild and unpredictable no matter how many buffers you put around them.

It’s been happening for millenia.children_playing_tag