My Doctor Appointment with Medical Student

Poor student. The Doc sent him in alone at first. He looked like he graduated from high school yesterday.

He apologized, repeatedly and in many different ways.for everything he asked, everything he said and for just being there.

I wanted to just stop him and give him some stage direction. “Listen, Martin. You need to start projecting confidence. Act like you have it all covered. Be the doctor you want to be. PRETEND.”

At the end it just became farcical because he couldn’t get the blood pressure cuff to work. It was awkward. The nurse took my blood pressure in like 10 seconds. He fumbled with that thing for 5-8 minutes before just surrendering.

He finally left and I figured the debrief would take a good long while. When that many mistakes are made, it requires some telling. It wasn’t as long as I expected.

Then my regular doc came in and was his usual cheerful self. I am glad Martin has my Doc. He’s kind and generous and has a sense of humor, so I think Martin will probably calm down under his tutelage.

He upped my antidepressant dosage and told me to come back in 3 weeks. If my insomnia doesn’t get under control he might put me on on Trazadone to help. I don’t want Ambien or anything like that. I really feel like that made the depression much worse when I was on it.

Anyway, Martin and I survived the doctor appointment. Although I think Martin was a bit battered from it.

I have a cat for sale, swap, or frankly you can just have her no questions asked.

Type: Brown Tabby, generally considered cute. Often considered a Pest.

Gender: Female but without necessary connections for reproduction.

Name: Lily

Description: Well, right now I’m typing this with her chin on one of my hands. So. I guess you could call her “involved”. I call it annoying.

She enjoys computers. She will be the means by which you learn a great many things about how to unfuck computers, short cut keys and that sort of thing. She’s basically a computer tutor. She fucks it up, you fix it.

She doesn’t eat much. (due to chronic feline renal failure). However, she makes up for that by throwing up on a semi regular basis. Think of her as a home decorator.

This model of feline releases small barely detectable parts of herself… everywhere. They accumulate into very detectable piles. They will adhere to all of your clothing, furniture, carpet, walls, food. When you clean them up, she will watch and be mildly offended at your disposal of her discarded parts. She is everywhere even when she isn’t.

Your requirements: She likes to sleep with you. But is very particular about the set up. There will be a great deal of back and forth under the covers while you hold the covers up. YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO HOLD UP THE COVERS during the settling in process. Your time and annoyance investment in her position will make it less likely that you will ever move because moving will require a new resettlement procedure, so DON’T MOVE.

You will be required to run back and forth through the home as though you are another cat playing chase. This is required only 2-3x a week as this feline is older and not feeling well often. Think of her as your fitness coach.

You will worry. Incessantly. About the how little she eats, how terrible she feels and how much you wish you could make it better for her. This isn’t a requirement so much as an involuntary response to her love and condition.

Benefits: She loves you. Always and completely.

Maybe I’ll keep her.

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Milano Cookies. A Love Story.

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I love Milanos.

Last week I discovered the Lemon Variety. Please take a trip to your local food retailer and acquaint yourself with this lovely decadence.

Its nearly the zenith of Orange Milano. Indeed, there are certain moments, just around the 3rd or 4th chew where it exceeds the Orange and attains a moment of zen like yum. Bright Sunshine and Fresh Sweetness and Lovely.

Tonight I decided to branch out and try the Dulce de Leche. I hadn’t tried it before because it sounded a bit chancy. A bit puffed up with itself. But I can report now and its pretty damn good.

Not quite up to Lemon. But it is a much sultrier taste. It earns it’s name. Its definitely a high class call girl willing to do dirty things to you as long as there are candles and a steamy bath involved.

I know. I know. These are just supermarket tramps. Not home made, Not pure. True. But. They are so very easy and so very tricksy because of it.

Everyone likes an easy trick.