I’ve been struggling this weekend with my depression, all the while contemplating hopefully a possible path to having ECT to treat it.
Depression doesn’t usually conjure images of hope but somewhere in the mire of stillness is this small ray of hope.
See, that’s the thing about depression and life in general. Nothing is ever entirely one thing. We are never really living in extreme in our head, but we feel compelled to describe our thoughts and feelings and opinions that way.
We see any sort of contradiction in thought or emotion as being hypocrisy or making a statement false. We have fallen into this binary world where everything must one thing or another, when in fact, very little is actually just one way.
Life is not clean. Its not divided simply into halves for us to choose. Its a big field of possibilities and many of them can co-exist inside our heads, inside the world.
In morality, most of us would condemn murder. But we have all recognized at least once some situation where a murder seemed justified. The father who beat his child’s sexual molester to death, the idea of sending a time traveling assassin to kill Hitler…. Somewhere, at sometime you have considered a murder as not contemptible.
In politics, most have some kind of bias as liberal or conservative, but when you talk to individuals, they will often identify in some fashion with platform position of the other guy. Many liberals feel the government should be more monetarily conservative. Many conservatives have positive feelings about gay marriage.
Take something that is objective. The colors black and white. Except. No. The human brain decides a color based on context. So that colors stop being exactly one color. They change based on context. Remember the dress?
There is no right or wrong. There is no liberal or conservative. There is not even black and white.
We need to stop pretending that life is a T/F test. It’s not. Extremism is fueled by this thought that every question has a clean simple answer.
As humans, we would be far better off if we recognized that life isn’t clean. Its a big muddy mess. And inside your head are lots of ideas that don’t necessarily seem to belong together – but they exist there anyway. And that is OK. Because that is the way life is. Complicated.