Work and Kittens and Medical Tests

So I changed jobs a couple of months ago.  Same company, different department.  I work in Billing now.  Accounting.  It’s fun to learn new things.  The actual job though is often tedious.   However because they are working in a crazy old fashioned system and because the people who work in the department aren’t really trained bookkeepers (myself included) it’s all kind of crazypants.   Yesterday we discovered a rather large error that made my stomach hurt as I was auditing the bill and finding more and more not right.

I am a LONG WAY from perfect in my work life, but I have this ideal of what things SHOULD BE.  And sometimes I internalize it, so when I see a mess like that it makes me stressed even when I’m not the person who made the mess.  Maybe more so out of empathetic stress for the person who quite unwittingly caused the problem.  Because I’ve never met anyone who deliberately messes up.  We all want to do our jobs well.

I feel like we need to change things up on how we process the work, but I’m the new girl so it’s definitely not my place to direct that and I’m not even sure what would be the best solution.  So.


The kitten is a panter.  Like a dog pants.  He runs around like a banshee and then jumps on my lap panting.  It’s SUPER adorable.  But it’s odd too.  I mean I’ve seen cats pant, but generally it’s rare.   Tim pants daily.  Probably several times a day.  After each session of zoomies he’s panting.  I’m wondering if there is something wrong or if that’s just his little quirk.

So naturally I looked it up.  The list of potential medical issues is very disturbing.  I am now considering taking him to the vet.  Because even though it’s only after exercise, it’s also ALWAYS after exercise.   We can’t have him be sick.  It’s not allowed.  He’s the young one.  Also Bijou and I have grown exceptionally fond of the little brat.


So, I’ve been having chest pains.  Daily.  I’m fairly sure it’s anxiety, but it’s there.  And I have other risk factors.  My father and both grandfathers died of heart disease.  I’m overweight.  I have high blood pressure that I control with meds.  I don’t exercise.  I eat terribly.  I’m basically a walking statistic.  So I told the doctor on my last check up.  She ran an EKG in the office and there was one odd thing on it that could or could not mean something.

So she ordered a stress test with echo.  I scheduled it.  And then they called me to tell me that insurance wouldn’t cover that test.  How nice.  My doctor specifically told me she was ordering that test because it is much better at catching heart issues in women.  But I guess it’s more expensive and so now I have get a different, no doubt inferior, test.  This has naturally led to more anxiety and chest pains continue.  I don’t get the test for a couple of weeks because that’s how the urgent things work in health care.

Still, I think if it was my heart I would be dead already because it’s literally daily for periods of an hour or more.  So it’s probably anxiety or possibly it’s GERD.  We will see. Or not since I’m getting an inferior test.

everything is fine




6 thoughts on “Work and Kittens and Medical Tests

  1. I periodically get heart palpitations and I have for the last 30 years. I get excited and get it checked out. Always stress. Now I don’t react (which is hard because I’m a hypochondriac). I told my doc that one day I’ll have a heart attack and die because I’ll think it’s stress. He laughed. I was serious.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know! I am always willing to believe that my health issues are psychosomatic. But sadly that logic doesn’t seem to translate to me not getting anxiety about my symptoms, which are probably all created by the anxiety. It’s a catch 22. Still I would prefer the anxiety being the cause than the heart.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is a cycle. Sometimes the anxiety goes to my head and gives me headaches (which I think are brain tumors) or to my GI system. They always seem to make the rounds and go back to my heart. I had a new one last year. I had trouble swallowing. Tightening int he throat. Yep, you guessed it. After a ton of tests, it was stress. I keep asking if they can just treat the stress but no luck.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I get heart palpitations with sudafed. Is it better to have heart palpitations or be able to breathe?

    I hope Rebel Tim is okay. Worrying about pets is stressful because you’re always second guessing yourself. I want pet telepathy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right?! You never know how they are really feeling. You can’t explain what is happening so they understand the context. It’s so awful sometimes. And the awful is almost always about their health. sigh. I just want to talk and have them understand and for them to talk and me understand.

      Liked by 1 person

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