Smiling like its normal

Yesterday SmirkPretty posted an amazing essay on 100 Blessings.  Take a moment and read it.  It’s worth your time.  Seriously worth your time.

I decided to try it.  Just look for a blessing, a small thing to be grateful for, a small thing that made me smile, a small thing of worth.  100 of those things in one day.  I called them blessings, although I’m a non believer, because I think we all recognize that a blessing is a good thing in life, a thing worthy of gratefulness.

I really can’t tell you how ridiculous an undertaking this is for me.  There have been times in my life, just as recent as last week, where I can’t find a glimmer of hope or light or good in the world because my brain has painted all the world into a deep void of darkness.  On those days finding even one or two things to be grateful or happy about is an olympic level effort.

And then on a whim, inspired by a gorgeous blog post, I just decided to do 100 of them.  In one day.

I took the approach that anything in my life or that touched my life, that was good, was a blessing worth counting.  I got 20 done in less than 2 minutes.  After that the hardest part was remembering.  My brain is not in the habit of looking for the sparkles of light in the darkness that inhabits my life.  I’m busy feeling my way in the dark.

But when I remembered, I could just look up and find 5 in under a minute.  Look up right now and you can too.  For example in front of me is a book shelf of my absolute favorite books in the world.  Curled up next to me is a fluffy ball of pestering love, covering me is a quilt made by my grandma,  under me is a comfortable bed, surrounding me is a safe apartment… Later it was the smell of cut grass, the newly planted flowers at work, the laughter of friends, the job, the purple pen, the kindness of my boss, the hard work of a co-worker, the generosity of a co-worker, the safety of the water I was drinking…

As the day progressed my day became lighter.  I definitely forgot about it for hours at a time.  And I lost track of what number I was on several times.  I have no idea if I accomplished 100.  I do know I accomplished a personal moment of revelation.  I became both lighter in heart and more aware of my surroundings by merely noting to myself the blessing.  It made me far more mindful.

The real question is – can this be done everyday?  Can I count 100 blessings every day?  The idea doesn’t seem overwhelming.  The idea makes me smile.  Perhaps it feels doable because I’m not at the bottom of the Abyss this week.  But I will take it because it feels like a celebration rather than an existence.