I ended the week on a high note. My brain has decided to climb over the rim of the Abyss of my depression and see the world. Sunlight and Energy and Optimism.
I cannot even begin to tell you how magnificent that is. I know it won’t last, but while I’m here I’m glorying in it.
Friday I looked up 3 recipes and put together a grocery list for them and then after work I went to the grocery store and shopped like grown up for the ingredients. Most of you are wondering why that sentence is something wondrous to me. Well, I hate to shop, I buy the same things everytime shop, and those things are always cheap frozen meals and sandwich fixings and cat food. So this was a triumph of mental energy for me.
Yesterday a UTI that had been hovering annoyingly in the background for 2 days decided to get serious. So I went to the Little Clinic and got tested and meds. Like a grown up. Again, you are thinking – uh, that seems like a normal thing to do, Sara. YES. It is. It’s a totally normal thing which last week I would not have done. I would have abused ibuprofen and tried to drink more water and hoped/pretended that it would just go away before I died of a kidney infection. Seriously. So. I’m loud and proud about my normal action to get antibiotics.
Then I came home and cooked and cleaned. Like that was just a thing I do. I know! Its so weird and wonderful.
Today I want to buy shoes. This, of course, sounds like a wonderful fun thing to do. But for me its a THING. First of all, I want to buy some expensive shoes from Mephisto because I’m a fat middle aged woman who needs good shoes.
So I had to wait for my tax refund to get them. I got that on Thursday. But then I spent my shoe money on my UTI. This is annoying. Now if I buy the shoes I am going to be using the money I had earmarked for car repair/maintenance. That seems like a frivolous way to spend potentially necessary money for car stuff.
So now I’m debating. I need new shoes in any case. I think my ankle pain is because my current shoes have worn soles and so they are putting pressure on the joint in an odd way. Also I’m fat. I keep saying that because the scale yesterday was VERY RUDE to me. I may need to start facing my eating habits. But that’s off the subject.
The point, which I keep wandering away from, is should I buy the expensive shoes or just go to DSW and find something from the clearance rack?
I should probably go to DSW. Sometimes you can find a great quality shoe for stupid cheap on clearance. But that NEVER happens when you are actually looking for it. It only happens when you are killing time while your friend is buying shoes or just shopping to be social with your sister or something. Intention is never part of good deals.
Anyway, I’m in a good enough place that going to DSW is an actual possible thing I could do. So that is in favor of that plan.
What do you guys think? Go to the locally owned shoe store and get a good pair of shoes or just go to DSW or just stay home and cook?
Next up on It’s A Thought…. Women Warriors. A metaphor with challenges.
I vote for the clearance sale! I agree I can never find the perfect pair when I need them but maybe the hunt will be half the fun!
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Try DSW first. Since it’s a good week maybe you’ll be lucky. If not, you could always go to the shoe store afterward. Hope it all works out for you.
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1) Do you think you are feeling better (emotionally) because it is Spring? I know I am.
2) What about used clothing shops for the shoes? I have found some incredible shoe deals at those stores. And currently I have one favorite pair that I got at the Goodwill near my house. Just an idea. I DON’T recommend buying shoes online though, no matter how good the price. I bought several pairs and while they looked nice none of them fit quite right, so I ended up never wearing them eventually donating them to Goodwill — oh, the irony!
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It is very tempting to think its spring. But studies show that the whole seasonal thing is probably confirmation bias. The truth is that its mostly random. I have felt like shit during spring & summer in the past. I think I just want to have a reason because the fact that is random makes me feel powerless.
And OMG, I don’t know how anyone buys shoes online. Unless its a show I already own and know the size of – its just nuts. There’s now way to tell if it will fit or feel comfortable or even look cute. Its crazy pants.
I still look online though.
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I’m happy for you and cheering you on. Keep track of this day and its good feelings so you can come back and remind yourself that they do exist for you. 🙂
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The shoes. Definitely the shoes. And I don’t mean ridiculous sex-in-the-city fetish shoes, but good ones. Ones that you can walk in for miles and miles.
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Have you ever thought of getting a subscription for Home Chef, Blue Apron or Hello Fresh? I also hate the grocery store and hate meal planning. Home Chef has been amazing, they send you everything you need and all of the recipes can be divided into more meals than they indicate. And it gives you a broad range of food choices.
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