That I’m actually considering buying a product that is almost certainly a sham.
Its set of headphones, called Nervana, that stimulate the vagus nerve and its supposed to make you feel good for a few minutes up to an hour. Its $300.
Its probably a load of crap. But I want it to be real. I want to find a few moments of relief and so I’m considering spending $300 I don’t really have on the very unlikely possibility that it will work.
As you can see, I’m quite aware that it’s about as likely to help me homeopathy. But my brain just won’t stop reaching for that tiny possibility – maybe it will work. Maybe, just maybe I can buy a few minutes of relief.
If it works it would be utterly worth the money to me. If it didn’t, which is more likely, it will just add one more log onto the bonfire of my self loathing.
This is why I get angry at people who offer sham hope to people with a mental illness. Because the desperate and terrible need for some form of relief is much stronger than the rational analytical part of the brain. And they take advantage. And then later, we, the duped, have one more story to add to the horror show in our brains, when we remember that one time we tried that thing that we hoped would work, but didn’t.
They aren’t on sale yet. Maybe I will crawl high enough in hole that it won’t be tempting when they actually do go on sale.
It's a Thought 
I feel your pain here, Its a a shame you feel like this.
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From what I know of the vagus nerve and/or damage to, it might work! I think you should try what you think might work, no shame allowed.
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I’d be more inclined to invest that $300 in a regular massage or some other series of somethings that I know will ease the pain and soreness depression gives me. Are there things you’ve done or had before that brought you some relief? I say spend the money on those instead. I believe you have the strength and know yourself well enough to choose whats going to be best for you. You’ve done pretty good so far, eh?
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I am going to look up those Nervana headphones simply because it sounds so fascinating! Any you’re in pain? I thought my replies and blog were enough to keep you out of pain — KIDDING! I’m not that delusional (hopeful maybe, but not delusional). 😉
I found this link: http://www.youredm.com/2016/02/10/nervana-headphones-get-you-high/
On the surface, these headphones with special music sound expensive. I don’t know how much disposable income you have (none of my gawdness-damn business) … but money can be a factor to consider. You can wait until they are out for a while to see how the are reviewed by Joe Public, and then decide after enough “legit” reviews are in. I think 1,000 is always a good starting number for reviews (and science stats, N = 1,000)! HA! That would be a while, wouldn’t it? 😉
BUT I do hear you on the pain front (no pun intended, really) … so, I know how desperate I’ve been to fix and/or alleviate pain in days of past and currently with my intermittent neck pain (TMI?).
YOUR post reminded me of this ol’ post of mine:
Can We Simply Call BS on Stuff that Doesn’t Work?:
https://hysterectomy4dysmenorrhea.wordpress.com/2014/10/29/can-we-simply-call-bs-on-stuff-that-doesnt-work/
ANYWAY, whatever you decide on the headphones, “The Nervana” PLEASE keep up posted. I’d be really interested in how well they work and how well they continue to work over time.
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Nirvana, regardless of how it is spelled, is elusive. Do this as the headphones will still be there. Set the $300 aside and come back to it in 90 days. If you still want them, go for it. If not, you have $300 more to spend. That would be my nirvana.
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suggestion: get a small notebook. List all the places you have been in your life that made you smile, made you happy. who were you with at the time. what were you doing. spend free moments either trying to recreate it, or thinking about how great it was. sometimes just a five minute mini-vacation is enough to keep you balanced, even in the worst of stress. you are…on a desert island, in a chalet in the snow, fill in the blank, with….your husband when you were younger, a film star…, you are feeling perfect. is there a fireplace, the sound of the sea, gulls, the sound of skis in the snow….touch your face, hands, you are you, a gift from God…. who are you important to. definitely your readers, your family. ps I had to learn to lock a door behind me and simply say, back in an hour. they (kids with husband) survived just fine without me. ps. I do chi gong for physical pain. there are several good pages, like chi gong for dummies on the web. hope this wasn’t interfering, since I really don’t know your situation, but wishing you the best.
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Believe me – it is not only the people labelled “mentally ill” who are susceptible to such promises. That’s marketing. Selling hopes, dreams, relief, fantasy, escape etc. etc. for the low price of umpty-ex, ninety nine.I have no advice for you, but I think you are smart – so follow your own instincts.
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