I always believed in you.
In a particular future.
I hadn’t met you.
I just knew you were part of the sequence of my life.
But the moments kept slipping away.
And the time never arrived.
Fate never sought out our meeting.
And I never looked.
And then the doubts began to echo in silent places.
Uncertainty slipped out of the future,
And into the my life.
Denial of doubt began screaming,
Hiding in the denial of the belief.
But the mobius loop of denial eventually broke.
And now my fated future is recognized as an illusion.
Now that future is merely a world visited and not lived in.
Now my escape is fantasizing about you,
A man who never came.
Because he was never supposed to.