We have all read or heard the words “Know you are loved.” Everytime I hear them being spoken or written to strangers I just want to scream. On Tumblr you see variations of this posted in quotes or pseudo psycho babble posts that are meant to encourage.
The writer has no idea if the person reading is loved. If they want to suggest that they love them it’s worse. Because they don’t, obviously. They don’t even know them.
Lets stop demeaning Love by using it as so much confetti to be thrown into conversations.
Love is both an act and an emotion. It is something you feel, something you do to demonstrate that feeling.
What it is not – is the word. The word is not love. Using the word does not make love appear. I do not feel loved because a someone says “You are loved.” or “I love you.” unless there is actual reason to think that.
Do you know what constitutes reasons to believe that? KNOWING ME.
If you are a stranger to me, don’t say “I love you.” Love is not something you feel for strangers or even bare acquaintances. You cannot love everyone.
You can be kind. You can be generous. You can be sympathetic. You can be helpful. But you cannot love unless you know me.
I get the impression sometimes that people find it easier to say to acquaintances and strangers and rarely say it to those they truly care about. There is a reason for that. Love is a huge thing. It’s hard to say when you deeply mean it because it’s expands in quality when it uttered. The more you mean it the more it becomes your source of fragility to rejection and loss.
If you don’t mean it, saying you love someone creates a sense of imbalance and incongruity in conversations. It feels out of place, makes me question your integrity because it has no context.
Love is not just a word. Its an action and emotion and you don’t create it because you write or say it.
You demean real love when you toss it into conversations until it litters the world like cigarette butts at highway exits.