I like Ocean.  I grew up around it.  My entire body seems to lighten when I even see it in the distance, much less get to be near it on a beach or a boat.

There are lots of coasts in the US.

But I prefer my water like the water I grew up near.  (Puerto Rico)  Clear and turquoise.  Now, I don’t hate other beaches, in fact I find every beach has its own personality and enjoyment.

My first visit to a beach after we moved to the States was rather disappointing.  It was in New Hampshire.  (we lived in CT at the time.)  The water was brownish grey.  The sky was overcast.  It was basically like this.


I grew up with this.   Literally – this is an island we used to sail to regularly and swim.


So, what should have been a lovely day at the beach was a bitter day for a 14 year old who thought all beaches were essentially like the turquoise one above.

All of this is a story about expectations.  About how our internalized world view ruins moments that should be wonderful.

Now I look at the New England Beaches with pleasure and see the beauty.  But that’s because I’ve adjusted my world view to accept that beaches are different and each has their own energy and landscape.

The reaction of my 14 year old self was for the same reason so many of us found the idea of two men kissing or two women kissing so uncomfortable when it was first brought to our attention.  Because we had internalized a view of the world that didn’t have a place for that.  Once we reorganized our brain, let it get used to the new configuration – voila – no more feelings of ick at the idea.

It doesn’t have to be the big things in life – like homophobia.  It can be the small disappointments or the awkward moments.  What is it that makes you angry, sad or disappointed?

The next time something seems terrible to you and other people seem to find it perfectly acceptable, or even like it – stop for a moment and consider.

Do you hate it because its just not the way your brain organized your views?  Did you expect clear blue water at a beach powered by North Atlantic waves on a cloudy day?  Is there room for a new view?

4 thoughts on “Oceans

  1. I’ve lived in New Hampshire for almost 30 years and still don’t like its beaches. That’s why I have a cottage on Cape Cod, though I’ll go to Maine if I want beautiful beaches and hypothermia. Not Caribbean beautiful by any stretch!

    I like your little segue into homophobia. People brought up seeing it shouldn’t have that “ick” response, it is more learned.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This sounds very mature. I don’t think I can do this. The beach where you grew up around is much prettier than most other US beaches. I cannot eat Cheese Whiz after having 3 year-old aged English cheddar and appreciate the Whiz. I just can’t. I’m not that mature. But you could be an inspiration though.

    Liked by 1 person

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